A man’s drinking habit had made his marriage very unstable. His wife had told him in no uncertain terms, “If you come home drunk again, I’m leaving you.” He did have a few too many drinks at the club that night, though.
As he stumbled out of the bar, puke on his shirt, he told a friend, “My wife will definitely leave me if I go home like this.” His quick-thinking friend came up with a good idea.
At home, the man’s wife was furious about how he looked. “I’m leaving you,” she told him. He said, “No, someone was sick on me, and he gave me this twenty pounds for the dry-cleaning.” His wife went from being skeptical to being interested.
She took two twenty-pound notes out of his jacket pocket. She asked, her eyes getting narrow, “Why do you have two?” The man’s quick answer sealed his fate.
“Oh, the other one is from the guy who… uh… shit in my pants.” It was clear that his reason was ridiculous, and his wife’s face went from angry to amused.
The man realized at that moment that his attempt to trick had made things worse. His drunken excuse turned into a funny, but unsuccessful, effort to cover his tracks.
