On my 30th wedding anniversary, I was looking forward to a thoughtful gift from Deon, my husband. Instead, he gave me a box of jet-black hair dye and told me to cover up my grey hair to look younger. I felt upset and confused by what he did.
I chose to make Deon learn something. With Susan’s help, I changed, dying my hair black and putting on clothes that made me look younger. The point was to show Deon that trying to look younger wouldn’t make him feel younger again.
I went to Deon’s office the next day wearing my new clothes. His shock, shame, and discomfort were priceless. He said in a shaky voice, “You look… different.” I said, “You wanted me to look younger, didn’t you?”
Deon admitted he was wrong and said he was sorry for trying to change me. “I’m happy with who I am, grey hair and all,” I told him. It shows how long we’ve been together.
Even though Deon said sorry, my worries didn’t go away. I wondered what kind of person I was and why I wasn’t happy. Susan made things clear: “Men can be naive and think they’re doing fine.”
When I thought about our anniversary, I realised that Deon’s gift meant more to me. He made it sound like he thought I wasn’t good enough. I talked to him about how I felt and told him, “Your gift hurt me.” “I’m enough, grey hair and all.”
Deon heard and admitted he was wrong. “I accept you as you are.” I felt calm at that moment. No matter how much we loved each other, we couldn’t turn back time. But we could face it together.
Our anniversary lesson: love isn’t about changing to fit someone else’s needs; it’s about loving and accepting each other as they are.
